17 Weld Crescent, Mount Barker SA 5251

Some houses are modest. This is not one of them. 17 Weld Crescent is the kind of home that looks at your excuses for needing more space and laughs in your face.

Six bedrooms. Yes, six. Because clearly you can't stop collecting children, hobbies, or freeloading relatives. Two bathrooms, which means no more passive-aggressive knocking on the door while someone pretends a shower is a day spa. And with 9-foot ceilings, even your ego will fit comfortably.

The living zone doesn't mess around. There's a slow-combustion fire for when you want to cosplay as a moody novelist, ducted reverse cycle air con because you're fragile in both summer and winter, and a kitchen that will guilt-trip you every time you consider ordering takeaway. Outside, you've got not one but two undercover entertaining areas-ready to host everything from civilised coffee mornings to "oops, it turned into board games and bad dancing at midnight."

The park across the road saves your backyard from becoming a cricket pitch. Double glazed windows throughout mean you can enjoy the peace and quiet-or at least muffle the sound of whatever chaos you've brought into the house. And with 8kW of solar power, you can smugly tell everyone at work how low your power bill is while they pretend to care.

Location-wise, it's a bit ridiculous. St Francis de Sales is walking distance, so you can stop pretending the school run is hard, Laratinga Trail is right there for when you suddenly decide you're "outdoorsy," and Foodland is close enough that running out of snacks is entirely your fault. Adelaide? Half an hour away, just long enough to remember why you left.

This isn't just a house. It's a Mount Barker monster with more room than you deserve, and it's ready to handle your chaos, your dreams, and questionable life choices.