Greg Clifford
Reviews
"A vacuous pit of despair devoid of culture, class and cuisine"
I lived in Gladstone for 22 years. 5 years ago I decided to sell up and move.
I recently had to return to Gladstone for a function so I booked in to The Oaks behind The Grand Hotel. As I turned off the highway onto the road that leads to the brown dirty polluted atmosphere of Gladstone i noticed a dead cat, obviously decomposing, on the road outside the first housing estate lying there rotting amongst other accumulated rubbish.
Verges of dead spindly grass intermingled with litter greeted me as i continued towards the city.
I drove past old dilapidated buildings as i entered the outskirts on my way into the main street. As i drove along i saw an endless procession of empty businesses and ugly vistas. It was 2pm Saturday and as i turned left into Tank steet i noticed no people at all. All shops are closed and 'for lease' signs decorated many of them. Around the roundabout into Goondoon street (the main street of town) and i was greeted by more of the same. Nothing attractive caught my eye, no green spaces, no trees, no cars, no people.
Dead as a doornail.
No redeeming features.
After booking in and assessing my surroundings i figured I'd go out and get myself something to eat. Unfortunately at 2pm in Gladstone city on Saturday your only option is McDonalds as all other eateries are closed.
Not even a coffee is accessible unless you go to Maccas.
Well at least dinner with my friends isnt far away from my accommodation, off to Oak and Vine at 7pm.
We were seated and a drink order was taken by a pleasant young lady who didn't know that there were several different types of gin other than Gordons. Anyway that's all they had so a gin and tonic with lime was ordered.
The post mix tonic was flat and off and oops, the restaurant attached to a bottleshop is out of tonic.
The meals were expensive and awful.
Undercooked waygu, overcooked chicken and poorly cooked swordfish and overcooked sweetlip supposedly grilled but looked broiled.
Top that off with hard vegetables and watery sauces.
Anyway....we got a heavily discounted tab.
Off to Lightbox for a drink and a bit of music.
And here, the experience of Gladstone just got worse.....poorly trained staff. Unsafe work practices. Awful music that sounded like one long bad song rouded off a long bad day.
Gladstone......1 star. And that's for the accommodation.
You sound obnoxious and boring.
At first I started to read a review then I noticed a decomposing story of drivel and conceit. The further I entered into the story the more I became acquainted with the writer.
I found them to be dirty, barren and empty of character. The deeper I dove into the rabbit warren of the reviewers mind I started to question the very existence of a town called Gladstone.
So I entered into the simple, unobstructed prose of the average reviewer and found a great little town called Gladstone... Seriously though, a round of applause to the up and coming Hemingway. Your first step into the world outside of your creative writing class has created some emotion.
Fuzzler, that was a great take down, very amusing :)
It's weird that the reviewer lived there 22.5 years but suddenly notices things he thinks are awful. Also strange he didn't mention that there is a Guzman Gomez for fast food, and several other restaurants including Thai restaurants, and that there are shops away from the main street.
This is one of the most honest reviews I have ever read, when we drove in the first thing we saw was at way stop dumped dirty mattresses and tyres, my husband and I looked at each other and went ohh no. 14 months in a its only got worse
Felix. Havent you gone yet? Before you leave, can you pick up those mattresses and maybe a dictionary. Then, maybe youll be able to construct a full and coherent sentence. Lol.
Glad you left