How to find the right housemate

Finding the right housemate requires skill, patience, and curiosity. When you decide to share your spare room with someone, you want to be confident in the person you’ll be sharing your most intimate place with – your home. At The Room Xchange, we have successfully matched housemates all across Australia, and we want to share our insights and tips on how to house-share successfully. But before we get into that, let’s clarify some definitions.

What is considered a housemate?

A housemate is someone you share your home with, who is neither related to you nor in a romantic relationship with you. While the term ‘housemate’ might be misleading, as most people don’t know their housemates before moving in, it’s fairly straightforward.

What is the difference between a roommate and a housemate?

A roommate usually refers to someone sharing a bedroom or a dormitory-type environment, like in a boarding school or university campus. On the other hand, a housemate is someone you share a home or an apartment with. However, the term ‘roommate’ has become more general and is sometimes used for someone you share a living space with, not necessarily a bedroom.

Pros and cons of living with strangers 

As poet William Butler Yeats once wrote, “A friend is a stranger you haven’t met yet.” Relationships often start with strangers, and what begins as unfamiliarity can lead to lifelong friendships. Many successful house-sharing relationships actually start this way, offering the opportunity to set clear boundaries and have open, honest conversations, which can sometimes be easier when you live with strangers as opposed to living with a friend.

Is it better to live alone or with housemates?

Loneliness can be a real issue, especially after experiencing the COVID lockdowns. Sharing your home with a housemate provides companionship, shared responsibilities such as cooking and cleaning, and someone to share your day with. Additionally, having a housemate can double as a live-in house and pet-sitter if you have a pet and a garden.

How do I find a housemate?

To find the perfect housemate, you can ask for referrals from your network of friends and acquaintances. Avoid advertising on social media, as it may attract unsavoury individuals, and it can be challenging to vet and verify them. Instead, use a house-sharing platform that requires mandatory verification. For example, at The Room Xchange, we have integrated Australia Post’s Digital iD for user verification, providing confidence to both homeowners and potential renters that listings are legitimate.

How to advertise for a flatmate

Again, avoid advertising on social media and find a platform with built-in friction in the sign-up process. This helps filter out potentially problematic individuals who are not serious about completing the process. Using such platforms ensures you only receive genuine and legitimate applications. Adding any potential deal breakers to the advertisement can also filter out incompatibility.

How do I choose a housemate?

Choosing a potential new housemate requires a structured process and good listening skills. Consider what is essential to you in terms of living preferences, and don’t be afraid to ask important questions about their lifestyle, habits, and past experiences. Create scenarios to gauge how they would handle different situations so you can see any potential red flags. Ask for references and make sure you check the references. You’d be surprised how many people take them at face value. It’s handy to have a list of questions that are important to you and your household particularly if you are living with family members.

What makes a good housemate?

Good communication and negotiation skills are a good sign that a person could be an ideal housemate. Just like any successful relationship, the ability to communicate openly and effectively is key. When living in a share house, you’re dealing with multiple personality types. You won’t always get along and there will be conflict from time to time. However, if you’re communicating well from the get-go, you’ll find it easier to work things out as they arise.

What are the most common housemate problems?

Most housemate problems arise from a lack of communication and passive-aggressive behaviour. Think of the housemate from hell who leaves nasty post-it notes lying around as opposed to having a conversion. It’s not helpful and doesn’t get anything resolved. It’s crucial to set clear boundaries and address any issues promptly through open conversations. Money and food can become potential problems if the expectations and rules aren’t clearly defined.

What is a toxic housemate?

A toxic housemate is someone who is self-centred and tends to focus only on their needs. Dealing with such individuals can be challenging, as they may avoid constructive communication and cause conflicts in the home. You don’t want to live with someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells or a person who feels their rights are more important than others.

How to deal with share house conflict

Regular house meetings can be a great way to address conflicts and foster ongoing communication. Gather everyone together to discuss any issues that may arise, and create a supportive environment for resolving conflicts peacefully. This provides a calm space for everyone to have their say and their feelings considered.

How to evict a housemate in Australia

The eviction process depends on the type of living arrangement you have. If it’s a tenancy, abide by the tenancy agreement and local laws. For month-to-month house-sharing agreements, it’s essential to have a clear understanding of deal breakers and processes for reconciling disagreements before moving in. It’s also a great idea to have an exit plan in place for when the house-sharing comes to an end.

House-sharing is a wonderful experience

Most people in the world are good people and the majority of house-sharing experiences are positive. Treat it like any other relationship or friendship in your life, employing common sense, consideration, and open conversation. By doing so, you’ll create a wonderful home life filled with companionship and support. After all, we’re creating micro-communities in the most intimate place of all – home.

Written by Ludwina Dautovic, CEO and Founder, The Room Xchange.