internet dating

@DBlack my friends have used Match.com with limited success..the people they have met have been decent enough but none of the encounters have resulted in lasting relationships.

My neighbor did it once and said it was a disaster. I feel like the only one you ever hear good things about is J Date. Go figure . . .

J Date? Really?

So can you use JDate even if you're not Jewish, or do they boot you off the site?

I've been out with three different guys from OkCupid - all busts. Well, two seemed nice enough but there was just no chemistry in person - a difficult thing to discern from someone's online profile. And the other one, well, I've complained about him a lot already - so let's just say it didn't work out.

I'm also curious to know whether anyone is welcome to join J Date - or if everyone on the site is specifically looking for a nice Jewish girl to bring home to mama.

@BroadwayBk I'd be happy meeting a nice Jewish girl to bring home to mama, but I guess she wouldn't be all that impressed with me since I'm not Jewish. What a shame. Is there a site that's the equivalent of J Date for those of us not eligible for J Date?

Good question! If you find one, be sure and let me know!

I looked into doing eHarmony once, but the rates were really ridiculous... My lawyer cousin actually joined it after his wife divorced him, but the only people he met were socially awkward types.

I mean, you can meet someone anywhere so I wouldn't completely rule out internet dating. But it's just as difficult to meet someone online as anywhere else - you just have to get lucky I guess.

One of my friends just joined HowAboutWe and he really loves it - and I must admit it's kind of cool. You sort of meet up with people who have similar interests by dreaming up an interesting date rather than just going to get coffee. It costs around $20 to join, I think.

There is a blind date website that I've only been to in times of extreme boredom - but I can't remember the actual website... Let me think it over.

@Everybody: I actually had success with online dating. I tried it three times. The first two were failures. The last one ended up with us being together for 13 years. We did not meet on any dating site, however. We met on AOL years ago when I had an account. Does AOL Personals count?

@JenMac What good things have you heard about J Date, out of curiosity?

@BroadwayBK HowAboutWe sounds really great, since it places the emphasis on the activity and not on the people. That way, even if there's no chemistry you've still done something you enjoy.

@Uraniumfish Yeah, I've heard good things about it. And I agree that the coolest thing about it is that HowAboutWe takes the emphasis off being online friends, scoping profiles and "chatting," and puts it on actually meeting up to share common interests in real life. Somehow makes Internet dating that much less creepy.

Maybe we should start a StreetAdvisor singles posting. ;) Who's looking for a date!

@NeverSleeps great idea ..

@Everyone Agreed, HowAboutWe sounds like the best option I've heard of in a while. I think I really am going to try it for a while and see how it goes. And then, @NeverSleeps if it doesn't work, I can come back to the StreetAdvisor personals once you guys have it up and running!

I just signed on to HowAboutWe. As far as I can see, there is no fee to join, FYI. Looks good so far.

@NeverSleeps I don't know how well that would work. Seems like there are far more women on these forums than there are single, eligible bachelors. But then I guess it's representative of the NYC population that way.

@BroadwayBK well said :)

@uptowngirl Well if anyone knows how difficult it is to locate an eligible bachelor in these parts, c'est moi.

Someone explain me this: why oh why do men in online forums feel it's comely to post a photo of themselves without a shirt on? I find it so very very yucky, that I just can't take anyone seriously who does it. Like, dude, I don't need to imagine you as a side of beef before we've even met?

@Uraniumfish: Men think a top without a shirt is sexy. They are trying to show off their masculinity. That's the main reason. I rarely show my chest out in public. I will only bare my upper area within the confines of my apartment.

As for a Street Advisor Personals site, that does sound intriguing. have to ask our moderator about that one.

@Uraniumfish Because they are a certain type of dude attempting to attract a certain type of dudette? When I read your posting I immediately thought of that picture of Jersey Shore star Pauly D photographing himself, shirtless, with his iPhone. It appeared on guyswithiphones.com - a site which you obviously will enjoy greatly.

http://gawker.com/5450295/jersey-shore-star-paulie-d-appears-partly+naked-on-pretty-gay-nsfw-photosite

Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Except that poor dumb dude works out, whereas some of the shirtless photos I've seen are from fat slobs.

So, what does everyone's ideal man wear in a photo, then? I could go for a seriously dandyish suit, complete with ascot and/or smoking jacket. I think I just really want to date Noel Coward.

It seems counterproductive to post your bare chest on a dating website if that's not your best asset. @Uraniumfish What online forums does this happen on? I see a lot of it on FB but not really anywhere more public than that.

@ajadedidealist I think I am attracted to the way a guy is built more than what he is wearing. You can always buy him some new clothes later, right? But I agree with Uraniumfish that it's always nice when guys are fully clothed.

ajadedidealist: I'm with you . . I suspect I'm searching for Noel Coward as well. Every time I see a pic of a man with his shirt unnecessarily off, my libido rolls over and dies.

uhhh... wasn't Noel Coward gay?

@NeverSleeps I briefly entertained the Onion Personals, which is supposed to attract a more witty and educated kind of person, I guess. But as with everywhere else, there also seemed to be a lot of dimwits and losers among the ranks. Never did anything about my own profile on there, though. I just can't get into the concept of internet searches.

Just the other day I was at a pretty great party, and there were definitely a handful of sweet, good-looking guys I would want to get to know better. The fact of each of them being friends of friends, as opposed to random strangers, just made them all that much more attractive. The old-fashioned method of meeting in person may be slower, but I think it's the only method for me at this point.

@Uraniumfish I think a lot of great relationships are made between friends of friends. That's what they say, anyway.

@Uraniumfish Have to agree with you, Uraniumfish, friends of friends are the best way to go.

@BroadwayBk I'm actually disappointed about HowAboutWe because it doesn't seem to have enough users yet to have a good amount to choose from. Maybe in a few months, once they've built up the site more.

yes, @BroadwayBk, I believe Noel Coward was gay. But, seriously, I've dated a lot of guys who may as well have been . . . .

@JenMac I've convinced myself that the last jerk I dated was gay. I mean, why else wouldn't he want me? It's so obvious.

@JenMac, BroadwayBK Guys, don't you have detectors for this kind of thing? I can honestly say that no man I've ever dated was the type I could mistake for gay, not even close. Mental issues of all varieties, yes, I've see quite a bit of that, but in the attraction department they were all walking the straight and narrow...

@JenMac - my current boyfriend I in fact assumed was gay when I first met him. We were introduced as follows: "Ajadedidealist, meet Boy. You both love Noel Coward and should do a play of his together!" I thought he was pretty cute, so I figured I'd suss out the situation and ask him what music he liked. He replied "I quite enjoy the musicals of Cole Porter."

I'd almost given up hope, but then he asked me out and we've been together almost two years! I guess he wasn't gay, just English!

@Uraniumfish It's really not always easy to tell with hipsters or creative types. I've got some very questionable guy friends who insist they are straight. I don't believe in gaydar. One of my best friends is gay but you would never guess it - we are always telling him he is in the closet as a straight guy. I am pretty sure one of my female friend's boyfriends is only masquerading as a straight guy - these things aren't always so black and white, straight and narrow. I think that Kinsey guy was probably onto something. Not saying that a person's sexual orientation isn't often obvious - just that it isn't always.

@Uraniumfish Usually I wouldn't say that effeminate guys are attracted to me...but something was up with that one. Sometimes you only see what you want to see. Also, my ego could be making the whole thing up.

@DBlack The more I use HowAboutWe, the more disappointed I am as well. I've yet to be attracted to anyone intrigued by my dates, and apparently vice-versa.

@everyone Have you guys seen the Match.com commercial that claims nowadays most people are meeting their future spouses online? I wonder how much truth there is in that marketing ploy...

@NeverSleeps I guess I've been approached by guys who were somewhere on that broad spectrum over on the left, but I have trouble saying yes unless a guy makes it clear he reeeeally wants me. If he seems at all, you know, hesitant or whatever, that's already a deal breaker. So. I guess my vanity functions as a kind of radar.

@ajadeidealist Cute.

@BraodwayBK It's perfectly alright to assume he's the one at fault, since he obviously is. But now it's summertime, and the living is easy, and the boys are out in droves...

@DBlack And you do indeed need to pay in order to send anyone a message on HowAboutWe. They were pretty good at springing that on me at the last moment.

@Uraniumfish Can't ask for more than that.

@BroadwayBK Aaah! I never got as far as pursuing a date. Probably because, as you said, I didn't feel particularly attracted to anyone who had proposed a date I found interesting. Hmm. Makes you wonder if the date thing is really the best strategy after all. It SEEMS like a good idea, but maybe attraction is more important than whether you both like going to the MOMA or to a basketball match. Maybe if you're attracted, you just sort of work out the activities thing and find a compromise.

@DBlack Or you could propose a normal-ish first date instead of making an ordeal out of meeting someone for the first time. I have to admit that I saw a lot of good ideas, but not very many that would make for good first date ideas. I'm a firm believer in keeping the first one in the realm of drinks - that way, if it's good you can drag it out and if it isn't, well, you don't have to. I think I would go on a date that wasn't my favorite idea if I found the guy cute and interesting, though.

@BroadwayBK Well you know I met my husband online.. we hardly wrote e-mails though but spoke on the phone for about two months until I upped the ante and wanted to meet. He wanted me to fly to London for the first meeting ( would have been one expensive first date!) but I convinced him to make the 16 hour journey to my home city. He came for a two week stay and at the end of it I knew that he was 'the one'. However he wanted me to come to NYC and see if I could live here before we took things further. I made that trip and six months later we got engaged and were married on the day the Tsunami struck S.E.Asia!!!

@BroadwayBK: I met my present girlfriend online. So I guess meeting people online can happen.

I've used dating sites before but only met one person that I actually liked and it was only long distance for about 6 months. Not bad for a relationship, though.

@uptowngirl Whoa - that sounds like something out of a nineties movie starring Tom Hanks. Awesome, though! Maybe a hot Parisian isn't so far out of reach, after all....

@uptowngirl Wow, what a way things can develop, hunh? I'm impressed by how improbable your story is, and yet it still had a happy ending. Certainly gives me hope.

@everyone: am I the only one whom is really not into the online thing? Maybe I'm just really old fashioned; but, I feel like I have to meet the person face to face and see if there's that thing . . you know, the whizzing chemistry thing.

@JenMac That is the big problem with online dating, isn't it? You have to wait and see if there is any chemistry after all...

@JenMac No, you're not the only one. I got as far as looking over the guys on the Onion Personals before I rejected online dating as any kind of viable option. Plus the guys I meet in my general socializing life are pretty interesting!

What are the chances these people find each other again?

http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/sex-dating/86310/missed-connections

I kind of enjoyed this article because the women who were hit on got to respond and give their side of things:

http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/sex-dating/86172/tricks-from-a-pickup-artist

@Uraniumfish and BroadwayBK it certainly has not been all rosy but he is a solid human being and we are currently enjoying all our new adventures..so you never know who is out there for you..according to Hindu myth, its written in the stars that there is someone out there for everyone so maybe one day in the near future you will have something to tell me too...

@DBlack I really wish I knew if any of those missed connections worked out .. I am such a sucker for a happy ending :)

@uptowngirl It's a really great story - thanks for sharing! And I personally can't wait to meet someone who is far from a jerk as well as my written-in-the-stars destiny! :)

@DBlack If anyone misses a connection with me they better post it on Craig's, 'cause I am not going to be looking on TONY! What copycats!

Personally, though I have dated via the internet, I think it's overrated. Soon, if this keeps going the way it is then we'll be like those poeple in the movie "Surrogates" with Bruce Willis and it may very well end just as the movie did. Minus the ending, the thought of it is disturbing.

Ugh, I'm beginning to think you're statement is just not true, uptowngirl. Then again, maybe I have to become Hindu for it apply. . .

@JenMac I too felt like that not too long ago when I met a whole bunch of losers while most of girlfriends had found their better halves and were well on their way to having kids etc...I was one of the last in my class @school 'to settle down' so as to speak though many of my friends from college are still single. Some of them live here in NYC they say they love their lives but I think they too are looking to find their 'soulmates'. I have tried to push them towards the online sites in NYC for it can be hard to meet someone in this city unless you really make an effort too but they haven't had much success. Yet another friend who is well into her forties just tied the knot last weekend in NYC ..she was dating this guy on and off for years and after skirting around commitment issues for ages they just went ahead and tied the knot.. so never say never.. you just never know and btw she is Hindu:) Though I think Hindu Philosophy is applicable to all if not then people like Deepak Chopra would be out of business.

I think internet dating is making me less inclined to meet people in real life....

That's not to say I'm not inclined to meet people I message online - I mean I've become lazy about meeting new people at parties and whatnot. Oy.

I can do both. But at parties, I tend to be very quiet. I'm more vocal online but I would love to meet the peole I talk to just like BraodwayBK. I gess online I dn't feel embarassed as much. Wait, I take that back, I was talking to a friend last night and I felt nervous for some reason. Old friend, I shoulnd't feel that way. So, generally I feel less nervous online

@Freyja4: When it comes to communicating with people online, we generally feel less timid about it only because we are not looking at the person face-to-face. We do not see reactions and mannerisms. This can be a positive thing or negative. If you are an introvert like me, meeting people online will not bother you. But if you are an extrovert, you would normally prefer to meet people in person. This is because you draw energy from that person.

I don't mind meeting people face-to-face. It's just how I was treated when I was younger. I got made fun of a lot becuase of various things. Mostly my right eye becuase I'm blind in it and it tends to wonder just a tiny, tiny bit. My weight, I'm thin and can't really help it. Or just something tat other kids found funny. Also, people ave always seemed to percieve meas stupid and therefore on groups projects they left me out of the loop only to find out that I had the answer right. After a while I just pefered to work alone. Then they called me snobby. I still get some complaints now aot the fact that I get over demanding about peoples behaviour in my home. I'm sorry but if you can't be nice and polite, I will say something.

@Freyja4 Most people feel less inhabited online as you aver. Its far easier to communicate online than face-face where it maybe a tad more difficult if you dont get a positive reaction from the person who are trying to communicate with but then again if you are in an online relationship and if the person doesnt respond for some reason ..then you begin to imagine the worst and that can drive you crazy unless and until you hear from that person again.

Lately I've made a few more friends than I used to have before, including a couple of women friends, who have made me part of the general circle of people they know. It's been helping a lot meeting new people! Not that every woman I talk to at a party is someone I consider romantically (some of them are taken anyway) but friends lead to more friends. I think meeting someone good is all about how open you are to that possibility. Anyways, my social life is pretty good lately.

@DBlack That's actually pretty cool... For some reason whenever I met someone on one of those dating sites it either evolved into dating or just nothing. Wish I had your luck; meeting people and their friends sounds like more fun than just dating them.

@UpTownGirl: Can't argue with that.

I've got great friends from high school and university, as well as from all over the world, but my very best friends are those that I met online and ended up corresponding with - sometimes for years - before meeting in person. Livejournal in particular was a great way to make friends...I now have good friends in places ranging from Toronto to DC to Budapest to Madrid to Turkey!

@DBlack That How About We thing is probably going to take off after being in the NYT Sunday Style section: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/04/fashion/04date.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1 You shouldn't have any problems finding cute girls you want to date now!

@NeverSleeps Yes, hopefully. They've been spamming me a lot lately, but it looks like they have done big changes to the site which might help it take off. But the biggest issue with How About We seems to be just the lack of a participant pool big enough.

@DBlack Yeah, you get the "Daily HowAboutWe Dates" email? It's a little much, and very annoying.

@NeverSleeps I like how that article says HowAboutWe apparently suggests that "not only do many people plan similar dates, but like lemmings, they also collectively migrate from one theme to the next." Awesome. And it's weird - I have noticed a big taco trend on OkCupid as well! As in, just about every other guy has the word "taco" in their screen name.

@ajadedidealist I actually miss the days of LiveJournal - having a more grown up blog on Blogger is just not the same, online community-wise. When I wrote on my LiveJournal, people were much more responsive. Or maybe it's an age thing - maybe my peers have just gotten too old to comment on my blogs. Or maybe they are just spending all their time on Facebook? Anyway, now I am completely nostalgic for old school social networking...

I miss LJ - I don't really keep any other personal blogs. Although (shameless self-promotion here), my first paid, professional, by-line having travel/arts/culture blog just launched. It's being sponsored by the Forward Thinking Museum, an NYC-based photography museum. Check it out, guys! (I'm the "Beyond Sunset" girl): http://forwardthinkingmuseum.com/blog/

@ajadedidealist: I've subscribed, so I will get notices.

@ajadedidealist congratulations! just had a look at it and look forward to reading more.

@ajadedidealist That's cool, congrats!

Ugh, it's just been taken down for redevelopment/reworking. Damn site redesigns! But it'll be back soon!

@ajadedidealist I really miss LJ, too.

Hey people, check out this site on Internet dating in NYC:

http://www.guidespot.com/guides/try_internet_dating

So one day OkCupid sent me an email saying how I was in the top half of good looking people on the website - no joke! - and that now the dudes who showed up in my matches would be a lot better looking. I have since deleted my account, so I guess I have to start all over again as far as being served better looking guys, but I just came across this article and thought it was interesting: http://www.nerve.com/scanner/2010/06/15/okcupid-actually-hides-uglies-from-its-prettier-users

I read a similar article about tis. It's sad to see that people want to be this vain about things. I have never found myself attractive though I get compliments every now and again. I take them lightly. One thing I can say about not being vain is that if you a least take care of yourself enoug to get jobs and such, that you find your self not spending more than 15 mins in the bathroom looking "perfect". It's a clean face, eye liner, brushed hair and teeth, and deoderant and clean clothes for me. I've even heard of some mommy groups that only let in moms that do their makeup every day and have to look as if they somehow have time to worry about looks when they have babies. Sad.

BroadwayBK: ahahahaha! I love the guy's comment that said, "I got this and I'm fugly as hell!" I died laughing when I read that. What an awful thing to send. Does it really matter if the person is good looking? That doesn't have much to do with attraction.

@BroadwayBK What scares me? That I'll end up meeting someone at a party, the old fashioned way, and he'll end up being one of those internet dating site jerks any way. Is there a place I can go in this world where I can meet my own kind, who just wouldn't touch the websites?

When I was on OkCupid, pre-boyfriend, it seemed like a lot of people regretted even being on it, and would write things on their profiles like, 'oh, I'm only on this just out of curiosity,' or 'oh, I would really like to meet someone who doesn't NEED to be on a dating site, and can actually meet someone the old fashioned way.' But that seemed so dumb to me - I mean, how is it really so different from meeting people in reality? And does ANYONE really NEED to be on a dating site? No! And there are both nice guys and jerks on those dating sights - just like in real life!

Anyway, I can think back to a time when it was weird to meet people from the internet - and when those people who wanted to meet you were pretty creepy. But I think online dating is so mainstream that by now you can find just about any sort of person online, not just jerks.

@BroadwayBK But you're not bragging or anything, right? That is pretty weird - it's discriminatory really. And I agree with JenMac - beauty isn't always the key to attraction, except for the shallow and superficial maybe.

That's ridiculous! I certainly wouldn't want people putting more "attractive" guys in my profile, not the least because my standards of "attractive" may be very different to everyone else's - I've got weird tastes! I think dating sites are fine - I'd rather go on a date with a nice guy with an online presence than a randomer who picked me up at the bar - but this is ridiculous.

@NeverSleeps I think I find the idea of people perusing my photograph and making judgements about me just so so uncomfortable, that it has kept me from accepting internet dating as a viable way to meet someone. I agree that it's so mainstream now that I'm likely to meet good boys just as easily as creeps, but I'm too shy for the internet. In person I have no problem being outgoing, but yeah. So.

@BroadwayBK The OK Cupid thing is a little bit tasteless of them, no?

@NeverSleeps So did you meet your boyfriend online or the old fashioned way?

@Everyone I too think Ok Cupid's strategy is kind of a hoax and everyone gets that email eventually... on the topic of love .. the trailer of Eat Pray Love is looking pretty interesting though I must admit I hated the book. did any of read it ?

I loved the book, I must confess. But, I'm borderline a hippie these days so connected with what she did.

I haven't read it yt. But after seeing the previews to the movie, I am now wanting to read the book. Aas hesitent before. The title was one of those titles that made you wonder.

@Everybody: If I wasn't involved right now, I still may look online for my next date. Of course, I am not sure at this time what I intend to do, but I know if that time were to come, I would deal with it then.

Not crazy about Eat, Pray, Love! I have my doubts about a woman achieving genuine spiritual enlightenment WHEN SHE RECEIVED AN ADVANCE BEFORE HEADING OUT to receive spiritual enlightenment

@ajadedidealist Ah! I was wondering how she survived such a long vacation without a job. Now I get it.

@JenMac @uptowngirl Why did you hate/love the book? I was thinking about picking it up.

@ajadeidealist Hah! Yeah, a fat wad of cash can be conducive to spiritual enlightenment.

@UraniumFish: And that's how Evangelists make money. You know I don't think God or any other spiritual diety would approve of their followers making money from "the word". They want blasphemy you have it with those Sunday shows.

I may just get the book of Eat, Pray, Love. Just so I can say if it was any good compared to the movie and maybe talk about the components that mae up the book.

Am I the only one who doesn't know anything about Eat, Pray, Love? It sounds like just another hokey spirituality book.

@DBlack I thought it was a memoir about how some lady got her mojo back...?

@everyone: she got a huge advance because she was already a pretty well known writer and she pitched the idea to her publisher.
@Broadway: a woman gets a divorce and decides that she's going to go on a trip where she studies other cultures' notions of transcendentalism. She went to Italy where food is life, India where mind - body connection is life and Bali where love is life. She was looking for a way to happiness and enjoyment when she couldn't find it on her own. It's basically her doing a walkabout.
Her writing is a little cutesy most of the time and I was just so-so about the Italy part. But, I meditate a lot and I think that connecting with yourself is the most important and most difficult thing to do. I cried during the India section. Life can be so devastating and it's easy to lose track of light. She went to find it and I think that's beautiful. But, I'm also a total goober.

@BroadwayBK I can't put my finger on it.. I just couldn't get myself to like the writing. It didn't grip me at all

@JenMac I have friends in India who have done a program called Vipasna at an Ashram outside of Mumbai. The program requires you not too speak/read etc for ten days or so..its supposed to help you meditate .. I could never do it perhaps you could?

@uptowngirl @JenMac I'm interested in the whole meditation thing, but not sure if I have the self-discipline. It's got to be rewarding if you can get into it, though. My mom is always going on about how I should get into it. Also, it's how the Beatles got off LSD and came up with the White Album.

@BroadwayBK honestly I can't still for a minute.. my mind is always whirring and I just dont seem to have the self discipline to be quiet and meditate. My parents are always advising me to as they think it will cure me of my nervous energy/ anxiety. Maybe one day in the future..

My mom lived for a few years in India, and loved Eat, Pray, Love. So perhaps I'm just missing something... Julia Roberts is so darn likeable, at any rate. It would be hard to dislike the film, although I may envy Julia Roberts's shooting locations and schedule...

@BroadwayBK We can all be grateful to anything that got the Beatles off of LSD to make the White Album...

Just curious: how many people in your various yoga/ meditation sessions and attending the spirituality films are women?

@uptowngirl My own nervous energy helps me get things done! I wouldn't really want to get rid of it.

@DBlack but my nervous energy borders on anxiety and drives the husband loco.. I wish I could be more zen about certain things in life..

@ajadedidealist actually I am looking forward to seeing the movie as well..especially since i recently holidayed in Bali and absolutely loved the place. Where in India was your mum? Actually a lot of my friends around the world have been asking about Ashrams now that they have read the book..Ashrams can be found all over India and you really have to figure out which one works for you.. though its amusing to read about Julia's conversion to Hinduism.. wonder how long that phase will last..

I might see that movie, too. But I will go alone and never tell any of my friends that I saw such a feel-good Julia Roberts flick.

You can tell us. LOL

Oh, it has been a good day. I had good appointment with my admissions counselor at the college. I will be taking my placement tests on Thursday. Also, after I got home my husband told me that job called and theywant an interview!! Yay!! Of course it will be temporary. As I am moving to Missouri soon. Oi that ride will be long. Too much family BS in this small country town. Need to get away before it gets worse. It's a long story and ya'll have heard my long stories. Yes, I said ya'll. I may love NY but I was raised in the South.

But yeah @NeveSleeps, you can tell us. We wont tell.

@NeverSleeps does it classify as a 'chick-flick'? No matter as Freyj4 says we wont tell ..and it does have that yummy man in it -Javier Bardem...

@uptowngirl Oh. My. God. I love me some Javi Bardem! And, personally, I think Eat, Prey, Love is a total estrogen fest. I can't imagine taking the guy I am dating there - it seems mean to have to drag someone to a movie. Also it seems like whenever I saw someone reading that book, they were female.

Also @uptowngirl I have always wanted to go to Bali, or those other magnificent tropical islands thereabouts. I am pretty jealous of your travels. Has your Cantonese improved at all since you've been in HK?

@BroadwayBk I have located a weekly Cantonese class near my home but havent yet started .. have been sooo busy with work .. have a really interesting project on that requires me to photograph more than 100 locations all over Hong Kong, Tourist attractions, restaurants,stores and not all of them are located in the city some are located miles away in the New Territories.. so its been a tremendous learning process as I have learned to travel all over using various means of public transport and maps. Funnily enough many Hong Kong establishments are not very happy with you taking images if you are not eating at the establishment and at antique shops photos are an absolute no-no you have to get prior permission from PR departments and what not ..so its been quite an experience and then I have been busy with immigration organizing the paper work for my foreign domestic helper. Yes its perfectly legal to employ one here once you do all the paperwork and its not expensive as well. We are scheduled to have tons of guests and I do need help for life here is even faster than NYC if you can believe it. I wake up at the crack of dawn and go to bed close to midnight and yet feel rushed and stressed.

@uptowngirl You can't really photograph the inside of many US establishments as well - but it's due to insurance reasons. There are actual clauses in the policies disallowing customers to take photos. Not that it stops anyone from Tweeting their meal pictures and whatnot.
Sounds like your life is pretty crazy at the moment - maybe yet yourself a butler and a cook. :)

@BroadwayBK Really??? all those Yelpers post tons of images don' t they?
my FDH is a cook as well...so that's one chore taken care off ,along with cleaning and ironing which I hate :(. Its so hot and humid here that I seem to do laundry everyday and always have mounds of ironing as we usually wear cotton stuff unlike people here who tend to wear polyester blends.. eeeow so sticky! Another observation, the women wear a ton of black stuff a la NYC .. I was shocked to say the least...for the weather is tropical .. hot and humid for at least 8 months of the year.

@uptowngirl I think that particular insurance clause is especially popular with retail shops - and it makes sense. The insurance company doesn't want anyone taking pictures that will make it easier for someone to break in and steal stuff. But yeah, I ran into that problem a lot as an intern who was supposed to take pictures inside shops and restaurants. Especially in the retail stores, obviously.

I had no idea it was so hot there! Sounds almost as bad as Florida.

I'll be moving to a hot and humid place here soon. It's closer to NY but not as close as I'd like. Oh, well. I have opportunities there and I need a fresh start. The way my sis-in-law described it I am reminded of Texas. Down there it feels like a sauna. Winter isn't as bad. I always laughed when I saw people with jackets on. I was in shorts and a long sleeved shirt. Now, the rain . . . that's a different matter. Can we say major down poor and hail the size of marbles? Fire ants that float on top of the water and floods? I wonder how winter is up in Missouri . . . anyone here know?

I admit I would have to look at a map to even see where Missouri is exactly.

LOL It's a couple of states West of NY. It's one state below the Great Lakes.

I've always wanted to go to/spend time in Louisiana, @Freyja. As someone who grew up between Europe and American, the culture of New Orleans interests me very much!

@ajadedidealist: Rightfully so. New Orleans has such a culture to it. I've been there once but don't remember it much. It was a long time ago. I was very sad when Katrina hit LA. I donated food and money whenever I could. Even to Texas because I feel that Texas is most likely my home state. Though I really don't have one. I've moved so much. I lived in the south longer than any other place. Was born in Utah. Eck. I don't like Utah. Nice scenery though. NY is better by a mile. Any state is better. Sorry for anyone who might have lived in UT. It's just my thoughts.

I cant meditate alone either. My mind whizzes around too. I do Glenn Harrold's Chakra Meditation and it seems to do the trick if any of you are interested. His voice is a little cheesy, but once you get over that, you're all set.

@ajadedidealist Me too, New Orleans and Florida are two places in the US that I am dying to visit

@Everybody: I constantly hear on TV how there are ghosts in New Orleans. Has anyone been to New Orleans and experienced ghosts? I'm curious about it.

@hhusted as I mentioned I havent been but I have heard about the great jazz clubs and of course the food and the historic homes and that's what captures my interest.

I've been to New Orleans and loved it: food and music, and great friends I was visiting. But the racism was so blatant and at all levels of society--blacks were cooks in restaurants, whites owned the restaurants, no exceptions to this--that I started to feel I would have a hard time living in that city. I would just be outraged all the time.

@Uraniumfish There are black-owned restaurants in New Orleans for sure. Dooky Chase's? Oliver's? Dunbar's? Praline Connection? Not that there isn't a lot of racism to be outraged about, à la Spike Lee.

@NeverSleeps Okay, yeah about the restaurants, but I was just using it to describe a bigger social stratification. Really, never have I been so outraged as in N. Orleans. It was a bit exhausting.

@Uraniumfish correct me if I am wrong but isn't much of the South like that? I have never been only heard stories from folk who have lived there..

@Uraniumfish New Orleans has a mostly black population - 70%, and that may be why the social stratification that is common throughout the country is more apparent there. Who works as busboys and dishwashers in the restaurants around here? Not many whitebread college boys sign up for such duties.

@NeverSleeps Too true. The fiend I visited there is the daughter of a judge, and she had quite a lot to say on the subject of blacks being unable to advance in positions of power in the city despite being the overwhelming majority. I guess she had see a lot of the racism at the highest levels, being her father's daughter.

I've never been to NOLA - I've never realized that racism was a particular issue there (compared to the rest of America and/or the South) - but it's certainly something to keep in mind when I plan my trip. I may not be its target, but I don't want to financially support inherently racist institutions...

@ajadedidealist Just seemed that certain old boys' networks hadn't changed since the time of slavery. Like I said, it was really conspicuous. This was pre-Katrina.

@Uraniumfish Were you visiting a friend or a fiend!!! Ha! Anyway, those Good Old Boys are still running the South, for sure. I went to school in the deep south and that same culture was prevalent - NOLA isn't the only city with these issues, I can tell you that. But then again, if you look at the richest people in the country and at the majority of lawmakers, I think you will find that they are mostly a) white and b) male.

@everyone Most people don't know, but there are far more white people in poverty in this country- white people being the majority in the US - than minorities. Minority poverty percentage rates are higher, which is indicative of the sad state of affairs here, but the South - esp the Bible Belt - is full of many incredibly poor people who are also white. Just thought I'd mention.

Oh, and did you guys see the new HBO doc on post-Katrina NOLA? Apparently the city is the new murder capital of the US. And it makes the police force look incredibly racist and corrupt... Murder + corrupt police is always such a good combo.

@BroadwayBK Well it's surely the poor whites electing the likes of Bush, that's certain. A fact that just makes no sense to me, considering the main platform of the Republican party is to screw all poor people even more than they're screwed. But go figure. I do think that NYers tend to sniffle at the Midwest without realizing that many of the poverty issues that afflict big cities also afflict a huge segment of the rural Midwest.

@BroadwayBK Oh, great. At least pre-Katrina, NOLA has a rich music culture to compensate for the nasty corruption and racism. I hear after Katrina a lot of musicians moved away. So now it's just another racist and corrupt souther city, like every other. Sigh.

Yeh, got some fiends too, but I don't visit 'em as much as my friends.

@Uraniumfish The Democratic party used to be the party of the southern working man. Until the civil rights movement.

@Uraniumfish and @BroadwayBk that seems like a sorry state of affairs...there go all my illusions about New Orleans

Indeed, @uptowngirl. I always dreamed of New Orleans as this semi-magical, gorgeous, crazy place - now it just sounds depressing. I hope ultimately the USA is sucessful in revitalizing NOLA, though they haven't done the best job so far.

I don't know you guys - every city has its high points and its low ones. New York City certainly isn't all light and wonder - and I'm sure NOLA isn't all misery and flooding, though they have had their share of problems in the recent past. Not to mention the fact that Louisiana is one of the poorest states in the nation, if not the poorest.

There are still musicians and tourists in New Orleans; I think the city is dealing with the hand they've been dealt, and no one can say that is going to be easy.

@Everyone Travel and Leisure magazine is currently running its best cities in America survey..perhaps we should all register and vote for NYC if we do believe its the best city in the US.

I don't know about the rest of you, but New Orleans was listed as the scariest place on this planet. Sounds exciting to me.

@hhusted I wouldnt call it the scariest place on earth, mystical and magical definitely

I have a fictional novel about ghosts in New Orleans. I think that's the one titlesd 'A Babe in Ghostland". The title makes you not want to read it but it turns out pretty good. Haven't been to NO since before Katrina.

Ha ha, what? Who listed it as the scariest place on the planet?

Why would it be so scary?

@everyone: Speaking of internet dating, I just found out that my ex is getting married to a woman who is almost over the hill and he hasn't met her yet. she lives in Ohio and he lives in Idaho. I've seen her picture and it looks outdated and it's the only one I've found on any profile I have found of hers. Besides that she only have pictures of fairies and dragons on most of her profiles and she has this strange thing for writing about Alvin and the Chipmunks. Apparently she is a writer. Anyone heard of her? It's Allison Jae. I figure the Jae is an abbreviation for her real name. Though I can't be sure. And as for the city she lives in I find it odd that not only does she live there but that she graduated from a college last year in a city of the same name but in another state. Mississippi in fact. I don't think she is a fake person as she spells a heck of a lot better than my ex. Who can't spell for the life of him. I don't think I'll be letting my kids attend the wedding. Im sorry but I don't support the marriage. Something doesn't seem right. Something besides her age and her Chipmunk addiction, and the fact that she only has one picture of herself on the web. What do you guys think?

Isn't NOLA supposed to be crazy haunted? Maybe that's why it's so scary :)

@Freya4 If you Google Allison Jae a whole host of names show up and as you know many people hide their real identities behind avatars on the net so one really can't make a judgment call unless you meet the person for real.

@Freya It sounds kind of like one of those people who make a MySpace page to attract people to their porn site... The whole story is very strange.

@Neversleeps and @uptowngirl: Agreed. And scary. Sometimes I make myself laugh at some of the possible outcomes.If any of those is possible and happens, I can go up to my ex, point a finger and laugh saying, "Dummy." Hey, even Jerry Springer on his new dating show says, "Don't date in the dark." And advertises this background check site which is BBB approved.

I'm mean aren't I? *smiling devlishly* Nah, seriously, I would laugh. Especially if she is a he.

I went on my first HowAboutWe date last week - I finally found a dude on that site that was taller than me, haha. I am still really unsure about the whole internet dating thing, though. It's weird not knowing anything about a person - really prefer to have mutual friends or at least to be at a mutual party.

@BroadwayBK I took a while to think about your situation as you know I am an advocate of internet dating simply because in a city that is as vast as NYC it may be difficult to meet someone through your contacts.Internet dating just expands your scope, its a blind date which you set up for yourself. All kinds of blind dates are awkward and sometimes though the people who set you up have your best interests at heart they may set you up with someone who is just not your type.

@BroadwayBK So how was the date? And the guy? Do tell!

@Uraniumfish aha you took the words out of my mouth :)

@Freyja - at least you can feel secure in that your ex is dating "creepy chipmunk girl" while you're clearly better off! I mean, seriously - "fairy chipmunk girl?" Clearly you're far too good for him! (unless you draw Smurfs we don't know about! ;-))

@ajadedidealist: LOL Smurf's. You can come up with some many adult jokes about Smurf's. They are also interesting to anaylze. Then again many cartoons are. No, I like Garfield but I don't draw him or anything. Though I think that old Garfield corded phone would be awesome to have just to watch his eyes move when the phone rings. But with tech being as it is, that would just be a collectible. I love Garfield, though. Such a amart ass.

@Freyja4 I used to love Garfield as a kid..remember I used to have a paper weight that featured Garfield and his mates Pookie and Odie which I used to keep on my desk and it never failed to make me smile ..it was such a cheery little thing. Also remember guffawing loudly through the Garfield movie when I was aboard a looong flight from Dubai to NYC ,really love that orange tubby, My favorite animated character

@uptowngirl: LOl There was this comic I read once in one of those thick Garfield comic collection books. John was sitting there talking to a plant, Garfield comes up and looks at him. John remarks, "They say talking to plants helps them grow". John leaves and Garflield waits a second. He looks at the plant, "DIE!!" The plant wilts. It was too funny. I can never get that image out of my head after reading that.

Hey guys,

This thread is easily one of the best we have on StreetAdvisor. FANTASTIC!!!

AJ

@BroadwayBK I've been looking into How About We and it just doesn't seem that there are all that many users. After I kind of filtered out the ones who I might find attractive and who didn't seem to goofy, I only came up with about three that I would even want to interact with!

@Uraniumfish so are you going to interact with them? don't want to be nosy but was under the impression that you were off the market?

Has anyone ever seen that movie Burn After Reading? George Clooney's character is sort of portrayed as being this guy who just surfs the online dating sites, easily picking up chicks.

I think it can be a good thing that internet dating sort of makes the whole thing easier - but maybe it makes it a little too easy?

@NeverSleeps Just read the synopsis of Burn after Reading on wikipedia it seems like a fun movie though have a weakness for George Clooney though I believe his latest the American is a dud.
As for Internet dating, an important skill is needed, the skill to separate the wheat from the chaff as there are a lot of time wasters online who simply cruise the sites a la Clooney.

@uptowngirl I need me that skill! How does one sort out the good guys from the duds in a definitive way?

My first How About We date was okay. I drank too much probably. But we went on a second date, and I think I realized then that I didn't want to continue seeing that guy. It just wasn't written. Next!

@BroadwayBk it's a simple case of trial and error, if someone hides behind his online persona and is not upfront about who he is or about meeting up then that's a definite time waster ..I am sure you will meet your own Mr.Wonderful soon , he's out there somewhere in the city waiting for you..

@BroadwayBK: Your gut, or in this case, a woman's intuition would usually tell them something. At least this is what my girlfriend always told me.